Back to School, Back to Self: Sex/uality in College

By Elissa Rosenberg

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The start of a new school year buzzes with possibility: new classes, new independence, new connections. But for many students, college isn’t just about academics. It’s also a time of exploration—of identity, relationships, and sexuality.

And yet, sexual health and wellness are often left out of the “back-to-school” checklist. Let’s change that.

Why College Is a Turning Point

Developmentally, the college years are a stage of “emerging adulthood.” Students are learning how to balance freedom and responsibility while shaping long-term values. Sexuality and relationships sit right at the center of this process, even if they aren’t openly discussed.

Unfortunately, many arrive on campus with gaps in knowledge or confidence. High school sex education may have been minimal, shame-based, or skipped entirely. That silence doesn’t just disappear in college—it follows students into their new relationships and choices.

The Challenges on Campus

College introduces unique dynamics that can feel exciting, overwhelming, or confusing:

• Hookup culture & peer pressure – What feels normal, expected, or stigmatized.

• Alcohol and parties – How substances impact consent and decision-making.

• Identity exploration – Questions of sexual orientation, gender identity, or relationship style.

• Mixed messages – From peers, media, or even family about what’s “okay” or “too much.”

Without tools for navigating these challenges, students may feel unprepared, ashamed, or unsafe.

Building a Healthy Foundation

Sexual health isn’t just about protection—it’s about connection, communication, and self-knowledge.

• Consent & Communication – The ability to set boundaries and express needs clearly.

• Pleasure & Self-Knowledge – Understanding your own body and desires as a path to confidence.

• Resources & Support – Knowing where to turn: campus health centers, LGBTQ+ orgs, and therapy.

These skills create a foundation not just for healthy sexuality, but also for healthier relationships and stronger selfhood.

For Parents, Too

Parents often wonder: How can I support my student without overstepping? The truth is, college is a transition for parents as well.

• Adjusting to an empty nest can spark unexpected grief or identity shifts.

• Reframing your role means supporting without shaming, encouraging open dialogue, and trusting your student’s growth.

• Sometimes, your own questions and emotions around this stage need a supportive space too.

The Bottom Line

Back to school isn’t only about academics—it’s about returning to the self, with all the growth and challenges that come with it. Supporting sexual health and wellness is essential for students stepping into adulthood and for parents adjusting to new roles.

Whether you’re a student navigating independence, identity, and relationships—or a parent processing your own transitions—therapy offers a safe space to explore, reflect, and grow.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

I offer therapy for both students and parents as they navigate this exciting, sometimes overwhelming stage of life.

For students: A space to build confidence, clarify values, and connect with your sexual self in healthy, empowering ways.

For parents: Support as you adjust to shifting family roles, empty-nest transitions, and your own evolving identity.

Curious to learn more?

Schedule your free 15-minute consultation call today and take the first step toward a grounded, confident, and connected year ahead.

Desire Is Wisdom

Desire is often framed as something to control, suppress, or perform. It’s treated like a risk—too dangerous, too indulgent, too irrational to trust. But what if desire isn’t something to manage, but something to learn from?

Desire is not just sexual—it is relational, existential, emotional, and embodied. It’s the quiet (or sometimes roaring) internal compass pointing toward truth. And for many of us, that compass has been silenced, distorted, or buried under layers of shame, survival, and expectation.

We learn early to dismiss our wants. We’re taught that desire makes us selfish. That our cravings are inappropriate. That our pleasure is a luxury or a reward, not a right. We learn to be good, not whole. To fit in, not to bloom.

But desire always finds a way to speak. When it’s ignored, it shows up in other forms—restlessness, burnout, anxiety, disconnection, depression. We might feel like something is missing but can’t name what. We numb. We overperform. We settle. And yet… underneath it all, the longing remains.

Desire is a signal.

Not the frantic kind of craving sold to us by consumerism or social media, but the deep, often unspoken ache to feel more alive. To be met. To be moved. To feel turned on by our lives—not just in moments of sex or intimacy, but in the daily unfolding of being.

This is why desire matters.

Desire points to our unmet needs. It illuminates the distance between who we are and who we’ve been asked to be. It reveals the parts of ourselves that are ready to be reclaimed, honored, or reimagined. It is a map—sometimes messy, sometimes mysterious—but always worth following.

When we begin to listen, we often find our desires are not shallow or selfish at all. They are precise and powerful:

• The desire to rest, and feel worthy in stillness.

• The desire to be seen fully, without shrinking.

• The desire to explore sex, kink, pleasure, fantasy—not as performance, but as pathways to truth.

• The desire to stop settling, to stop pretending, to stop carrying what was never yours.

• The desire to feel at home in your body, your relationships, your life.

These are not indulgent wants. These are human needs.

There’s grief in this, too. Grief for the years spent silencing yourself. For the roads not taken because someone else’s voice was louder than your own. For the parts of you that were never invited forward.

But there is also hope. Because desire is patient. It doesn’t disappear. It waits.

And when you start to unearth it—gently, curiously, bravely—it becomes a teacher. Not just about what you want, but about who you are.

Pleasure, too, is not just a feeling—it’s information. When something lights you up, when you feel resonance, excitement, curiosity, safety, or turn-on—that’s not just chemistry. That’s wisdom. That’s you, in contact with your aliveness.

Desire will not save you from the human experience. But it will root you in it more deeply, more authentically. It will invite you to choose, not just cope. To feel, not just function. To create meaning on your own terms.

Listen to it.

Let it speak.

Let it lead.